


Up in the Stars

by Itscalledthedistrict



Series: VLD Season 7 [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-25 17:10:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15645228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itscalledthedistrict/pseuds/Itscalledthedistrict
Summary: "I can’t count the amount of nights I spent laying in bed staring at your space, Takashi. No one has ever taken your place, but I do not expect the same for you, my dear. I always had this small glimmer of hope that you would return to me someday. It is harsh, but it is the brutal truth: I will not be returning to your side."The story of Adam and Takashi Shirogane before, during and after Adam's death.





	Up in the Stars

The two words rang in Adam’s head as he walked down the halls of the Garrison. He apologised constantly as he ran into his fellow lieutenants left and right. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear. The only thing he could focus on were the two words Sam Holt whispered to him.

“He’s alive.”

“He’s alive. Shiro is alive. Takashi Shirogane is alive. Takashi Shirogane, _Takashi_ , is alive.” Adam thought.

When he got back to his room, he dug through the box the Garrison gave him after Shiro was announced MIA. It contained all of Shiro’s personal belongings from his quarters. Pictures, report cards for Keith, legal documents, badges… He dug through it, desperate to find the one thing keeping him sane. Once it was in his hand, he let his tears flow freely and held it in his palm. It looked the same as he remembered, but this time it held its promise again.

“I love you. I need you. I’d fight a thousand men to stay by your side. I’ll come back to you.”

Adam slipped the ring onto his finger and sighed. Breathing suddenly became a lot easier.

* * *

“Nice to see you’re wearing your ring again.” Adam jumped as Sam Holt walked into the empty conference room.

“Oh, yeah,” Adam twisted the object with his thumb, “it felt right.”

Sam smiled and sat across from him. “Now that you’re calmed down, I’m sure you have questions.”

“Tell me everything.”

Sam told him all about the Galra Empire. He told him how Shiro was kept prisoner, how he lost his arm and all about the torture, cloning and struggles Voltron has faced. Adam almost couldn’t process all of it.

“I know, it’s a lot. I don’t mean to thrust all of this onto you at once.”

“No, I need to know this. I failed to be there for him when he needed me. Now that he could be coming home I need to be prepared. Have you had any luck contacting Voltron?”

“No, unfortunately, but I’ll keep you updated.”

Adam nodded in understanding. He twisted his ring three more times.

* * *

Adam wasn’t a stupid man- if he was he wouldn’t be one of the Garrison’s top pilots. He knew he would be one of the first soldiers to go out and fight the Galra Sam spoke of. It wasn’t until that point that Adam thought about the fragility of his life. Compared to Shiro, Adam thought he was safe. He wasn’t throwing himself in harm’s way by going on dangerous space missions or trying to befriend teenagers that could throw a knife with scary accuracy. He told Shiro time and time again that he should be more careful. Shiro always shrugged him off. “I won’t live as long as you anyways,” he’d say, “why not enjoy my life while I can?”

Adam thought he was protecting himself when he gave Shiro that ultimatum. That mission was dangerous and there was a slim chance Shiro would survive. He hoped that Shiro would rather live the rest of his life with _him_ , not in space. The minute Shiro left for Kerberos Adam regretted everything. He wanted Takashi back in his arms. He wanted to look at the stars and ponder what his _fianc_ _é_ was doing, not his ex lover.

The moment he heard Iverson announce to initiate base defense protocol Beta Five, Adam knew he only had moments of his life left. He laid his ring on the nightstand he slept next to every night. He looked at the photo of himself, Shiro and Keith that was taken a month before Shiro told him about the Kerberos mission. Shiro was caught mid-laughter with his arm thrown around Adam’s shoulder and a hand in Keith’s hair. Keith looked at Shiro with an odd look of confusion and irritation. Adam stood next to Shiro with a smile on his face and his hand on Keith shoulder. That was the day Keith was formally adopted by both him and Shiro. Adam would always remember it as the best day of his life.

Adam smiled at the photo and gently touched the frame. He knew his sacrifice would not be in vain.

* * *

 As he watched his fellow soldiers die at the hands of the Galra, Adam didn’t have time to think of anything other than the mission. His death was quick and futile. He didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to the two men he loved most in the world.

* * *

While the other paladins were settling into their quarters, Sam pulled both Shiro and Keith aside. He told them about the fate of Adam quietly. He offered his condolences and said he would do anything to help. Shiro smiled slightly and just asked that they be left alone for a moment.

“Shiro?” Keith asked with a small voice.

“Yeah, Keith.”

“Can I not be team leader for five minutes?”

Shiro swallowed hard before nodding.

“Would you,” Keith let out a shuddering breath, “would you say anything if I used those five minutes to-”

“It’s just me, Keith. Let it out.”

Keith buried his neck in Shiro’s shoulder. Shiro placed his hand on the back of Keith’s head and returned his embrace. He felt the material on his neck become wet and heard Keith’s almost silent sobs. Shiro shut his eyes and let himself cry for the first time in years.

* * *

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Keith asked.

Shiro stood outside of the room that was as familiar as the back of his right hand. _Room 402: Adam Westfield_.

“We have to do it at some point, Keith. Might as well do it now before we’re needed again.”

Keith nodded and stepped back so Shiro could open the door and enter the room. It was slightly different than how he remembered it. Adam’s research papers were thrown across the table. The kitchen was spotless. There were still pictures of Adam’s family on the wall. Shiro was surprised to still see old photos of them displayed.

The mantel held all of their important documents: Keith’s adoption papers, receipts for wedding details, awards that the two had received over the years. Keith snorted at one frame in particular. “He kept this?”

Shiro walked over and let out a laugh as well.

_Keith Kogane: Outstanding Cadet._

_Showed initiative and quick thinking skills in flight simulator._

Shiro inspected the other parts of the room. It had been cleaned, but the apartment still looked like someone lived here. Shiro half expected Adam to burst in and chastise him about leaving his shoes on or touching his books. He shook his head violently. No, Adam was _gone_. He wasn’t coming back.

Once he reached the bedroom, Shiro felt his composure crumble. The bed wasn’t made. His clothes were still in the hamper. The desk lamp was still on. The room must have looked the same as it did when Adam left.

Shiro sat on the right side of the bed. “Adam’s side,” he thought briefly. He stared at the photo on his night stand. That day still had to be the best of Shiro’s life. It didn’t take long to convince Adam Keith belonged in their family. It was Adam who suggested adopting Keith legally. Their relationship started to fall apart with the announcement of the Kerberos mission. If he had known how all of this would end, Shiro wondered if he would have still gone on the mission.

His eyes landed on Adam’s ring. All other thoughts dissipated in Shiro’s head. He picked up the ring and held it in his palm.

_“Takashi…”_

_“Adam, you are everything to me. You’re my better half, my right hand man, and the only one I would ever trust to pilot me through a storm. I trust you with my heart, my soul, and everything I have. I love you… more than that, I need you. I’d fight a thousand men to stay by your side. If we are ever separated, I promise to always come back to you. I can’t give you money or fame, but I can give you my unconditional love if you say yes.”_

_“You know I can never deny you of anything.”_

_“So, is that a yes?”_

_“In every language. Oui, s_ _í, ja, hai,_ **_yes_** _.”_

Shiro took off and unclipped the chain resting around his neck. He slid the ring onto it before putting it back on. He opened the drawer and found Adam's old journals. He pulled them out and was careful not to look inside of them.

As he pulled the last two journals out, paper fell out of them. Shiro bent down to pick them up, but lost his breath as he looked at the envelopes.

In Adam’s messy handwriting, one envelope was addressed to him. The other was addressed to Keith. Shiro opened the one addressed to him carefully.

Keith found him later staring at the letter. He didn’t need to ask before knowing who it was from. Keith sat next to his brother and gave him the space he needed.

“There’s one for you too, you know.”

“I’ll open mine later. I think we’ve done enough today. Let’s go back to our quarters.”

“I’ll be right behind you.”

Keith nodded and left. Shiro put the letter back in its envelope with as much care as he possessed. He put the journals back in their place, adjusted the photo on the nightstand and exited the bedroom. He then put Keith’s letter on the mantel against his “Outstanding Cadet” award. Once out of the room, Shiro made sure the door was locked before retreating back to his quarters.

Tomorrow would be another day. Then there would be another, and another. Everyday Shiro would think about his lover’s sacrifice. The name Adam Westfield may not be in any history books, nor Hollywood adaptations on the Galran attack, but it would be forever engraved in Lieutenant Takashi Shirogane’s heart.

* * *

_Takashi,_

_If you’re reading this letter, it means I was not able to welcome you and the other paladins back to Earth. I just left a meeting with Commander Iverson. He has made it clear that we are expected to put everything we have to the fight against the Galra. I have a strong feeling that I will not survive this mission, my dear._

_There are too many things I want to say to you. I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. When I broke off our engagement I knew I would never stop loving you. I thought it would be better for the both of us. You wouldn’t worry about me, and I wouldn’t have to face a shattered heart. I did anyways, Takashi. I can’t count the amount of nights I spent laying in bed staring at the empty left side. No one has ever taken your place, and I now know that no one will. I do not expect the same for you, my dear. I always had this small glimmer of hope that you would return to me someday. It is harsh, but it is the brutal truth: I will not be returning to your side. If you find another man or woman that makes you happy, please let them into your heart. I know there’s enough space for us both._

_Sam Holt told me all that you went through. I cannot imagine any of it. I wish I had made you stay. If I had tied you to the bed and refused to let you go, would you have stayed? Probably not. Keith always seemed to know when you were in distress._

_I am so proud of you and Keith, Takashi. You two are accomplishing things most humans could only dream of. I’ve spoken to the families of the other paladins. We’re so proud of you all. The universe does not deserve such selfless, brave heroes._

_If I could, I would kiss you a million times, my love. I would sink to my knees and thank every deity for bringing you back to me. I would cry ugly tears that fog my glasses so much I couldn’t see your face, then would complain later about having to clean them. I would complain that Keith needs a haircut then laugh as he self consciously rubbed at his neck after hugging him so tight he can hardly breathe. I miss you both so much. Even though I am not there to celebrate your return, know that my greatest wish in life was for you to come home safely._

_I’m rambling now, aren’t I? Most likely. I am having to wipe my eyes constantly with the sleeve of my uniform to make sure tears don’t get on this paper. I have accepted my fate, Takashi, but I will not accept yours unless it means you die peacefully on Earth._

_I love you, Takashi Shirogane. In every language, te amo, je t'aime, jag älskar dig, aishiteru, I love you. I’ll be waiting for you up in the stars. _

_Yours forever,_

_Adam_

**Author's Note:**

> ... So they killed of Adam, huh?


End file.
